To the folks at ABC News and Good Morning America: ANTOINETTE DATOC should be your New Advice Guru!

Last night I wrote a rough draft of what I expected would be today’s post.  It’s all about how I became the nimble and proliferate texter that I am today.  It is peppered with amusing anecdotes depicting my texting foibles as I stumbled my way along the learning curve.  I even emailed my good friend to tell her to be on the lookout for today’s post since I mention her in the piece.  This morning I woke up fully intending to whip it into final draft form and hit the “Publish” button on the blog site.  And just like any other ordinary day, I find that suddenly my plans have changed.  I will eventually post the texting essay (complete with the shout out to one of my best girlfriends and fellow DWTS fan), but there is a much more pressing topic that needs my attention.

I just learned that the bigwigs at the American Broadcasting Companies are seeking to fill an on-air position for which I am the perfect candidate.  I know what you’re thinking, “That woman is beating a dead horse.”  No, no, no, this has nothing to do with my Dancing with the Stars fantasy.  It is an honest to goodness employment opportunity with Good Morning America.  If you don’t believe me, read the following excerpt of the job description plucked right from the ABC news website.  (http://abcnews.go.com/GMA//dear-gma-send-good-morning-america-essays-advice/story?id=11664752).

 

  • Help us help you!  “Good Morning America” is launching a nationwide search for a 21s tCentury Advice Guru. This is a full-time, on-air position at “GMA.”  You could sit next to George and Robin and be part of the “GMA” Team!
  • Have you made a career out of helping people deal with life’s issues?  Or are you the person your friends and family always turn to in difficult times?  Do you have a unique perspective on everyday problems?  If you think you’re ready to tackle everything from dating dilemmas, to office conflicts, to money matters, to family situations, tell us your story.

OH MY GOSH!  When I visited abcnews.com and first read that description all I could think was, “pick me, pick me, pick me!”  We all know that I am the perfect person for this job; the trick will be proving it to the ABC bigwigs.  The best part of all is the new Advice Guru gets to write a column for GMA online! OH MY GOSH! I’ve always aspired to be a newspaper columnist!  Celestine Sibley!   Erma Bombeck!  Dave Barry!  They are my heroes!  This blog has been a great substitute, but OH MY GOSH!  I really want this job!

There are three phases to the search process.  Phase one is a 300-word essay in which applicants must explain why they are tailor-made for the job.  In addition to the essay, applicants must respond to four sample requests for advice in no more than 150 words. This is no easy task, especially since THERE”S SO MUCH I WANT TO SAY!  Candidates must submit photos of themselves which presents another set of concerns.  Headshot or full body shot?  Formal or casual?  Smile or serious?

I know what some of you naysayers are thinking, “Here we go again.  Advice Guru. Advice Schmuru.  She hasn’t got what it takes.  She’s just an ordinary person.”  And I say AHA!  Precisely.  In fact, I am an ordinary person and that is exactly why I will submit an application.   Do you know what is amazing about all of this?   It’s as if this dropped out of the sky and landed in my lap: I now have a direct pipeline to that same ABC television executive, whose attention I’ve been trying to catch all along!  He will review my application and take special note that I am a blogger.  Instead of simply happening upon it, he will actively visit Just Another Ordinary Day.  He will find it interesting and entertaining, and think to himself, “Hmmm.  It might be good for ratings to have an ordinary person fill the Advice Guru position.”  I will be hired on the spot and, this very ordinary woman will be one step closer to dancing with the stars.  I AM SO EXCITED!  Wish me luck!

SPECIAL NOTE:

Over the next few days I will post portions of my application and solicit your feedback.  Please leave comments.  I hereby waive my right to invoke the IYCSSN Rule.

4 thoughts on “To the folks at ABC News and Good Morning America: ANTOINETTE DATOC should be your New Advice Guru!

  1. I can’t think of anything I would rather see while washing my coffee down (except I might spit it out in shock or laughter a couple of times)! I thought the blog was a good thing, but I think you are made for TV!!! I would even change networks for this, and I’m a die-hard one channel sort of person (that’s all we could get reception-wise as a kid living on Meadow Street, and the habit of staying with one or two channels sort of stuck). Do it!!!!! Linda

  2. Oh….this is so much better than I EVER expected for your latest calling….There is no one better qualified…well..maybe one or two others…but there is NO ONE better suited for this position….think of the following you would create for the network….I, like Linda, would happily…well.. with a little hesitation only because of my long time loyalty to that “other” network… press my channel arrow up once…and wait..and now can HARDLY wait for the application process to begin!!!

  3. Nerd alert! I Googled your “IYCSSN Rule” because I was reading your posts so fast and was caught off guard by an acronym I’ve never seen. Well if I would have read closely, I would have noted that it was the title to one of your entries. But hey, your blog came up 3rd on the search results!

    I think you have coined your own brand. Use that acronym in your quest to become the Advice Guru. Start making some t-shirts and hand them out. Viral marketing, grass-root efforts!! Need me to do the logo design?

  4. Tim: Hurray! I’m finally on Google! Thanks for the heads up and the advice! I’ll let you know about the logo. I dabble with logo design myself, but typically my designs are heavy on the text graphic end, and that’s just so ordinary…

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