I was reading my facebook newsfeed recently and was inspired by the following status along with the comments posted in response.
STATUS: While sitting on the toilet, I seem to have my greatest ideas.
COMMENT: I knew I wasn’t the only one!!
COMMENT: And women wonder why we take so long.
COMMENT: And I always thought my husband just ate too much pizza.
I am the only female in my household. Well, I’m almost the only female in the household. Pudge, the greatest dog in the entire universe, is also female, but given her preference that the toilet seat be left in the up position, I can’t really count on her to vote my way. Anyway, living in a male dominated home, I always have found it curious that my husband and sons find it necessary to spend so much time sitting on the toilet. I often wondered why their “daily constitutionals” take so much longer than mine do. I used to think they headed for the porcelain throne just in case they might have to have a bowel movement. While I, on the other hand, make privy when and only when my movement is imminent. I think to myself, “Oops! Got to go!” and I go. Boom. I’m done. I imagine Pat’s and the boys’ thought processes must be something along the lines of, “Hmmm. It’s 4 o’clock, which means I might have to poop sometime in the next 45 minutes. I think I’ll head to the bathroom, but first let me grab something to keep me occupied while I sit on the toilet and wait for it to happen.”
Lavatory visits are quite possibly the only times during which I do not multi-task. I do not read, plan menus, compile grocery lists, work on my blog, or do needlework when I am on the toilet. I get in and get out quickly. Boom. That’s it, and I’m on to the next task. Ironically, times spent in the comfort station, are the only times during which the men around here seem to be able to multi-task. I’m fairly certain I have never seen Pat, Christian or Jared enter the bathroom without some sort of reading material, handheld electronic device, cell phone, iPod, or laptop. Really. I’m not kidding. I used to think all of these things were essential to a successful number two, but now I know I was wrong. Now I know that the time spent on the toilet is an essential part of male brainstorming. What a relief to finally understand. Men have some of their greatest ideas while sitting on the toilet. It’s not just a toilet. It’s a think tank.
Till tomorrow… Good night. Sleep tight.