It’s over. It’s finally over and I am cranky. I knew this day would come. Good Morning America announced the 20 advice guru finalists and (sniff, sniff) I AM NOT ONE OF THEM. Wait. Let me catch my breath. I am a little embarrassed because for a while there, I actually thought I might have a teeny tiny bit of a chance. There I said it. I really put a lot of thought into my application. Honestly, I tried to strike the perfect balance between humor and serious content in my advice responses and composed, what I thought was, a pretty compelling personal essay. I even felt confident in the photo I submitted of myself. No, I was more than confident, I thought I actually looked downright cute and not the least bit awkward in that photo. In the end (shoulder shrug) I guess I just didn’t cut the mustard. I can’t help but wonder if Robin Roberts might have had something to do with my not making the cut. You know she’s turning 50 this year, and she’s probably insecure as it is. Imagine how threatened she would be if a firecracker like me were added to the GMA roster. I’m sure Sam and George passing my headshot back and forth between themselves, giving each other the old’ elbow-elbow, nudge-nudge, wink-wink the way guys do, got Robin thinking she wanted me OUT. I mean it could have happened that way. Right? Either way, I suppose, no news really was bad news. I went to the GMA website to check out the finalists. All that business about plucking some regular person from an ordinary humdrum life and plopping him/her into the glitz and glamour of advice gurudome was a bunch of MALARKY. There is not a single person in the final 20 who has not either or cultivated an advice/counseling related professional career or earned an advanced degree. I’m not talking about a masters degree. I am talking about highly educated people with PhD’s in one thing or another, as well as several medical doctors. I’m not talking mom bloggers and spare time writers. I’m talking a prolific author of something like a dozen advice and self-help books, and get this, a couple of local television advice type personalities. THESE PEOPLE ARE ALREADY ADVICE GURUS FOR GOODNESS SAKE! Why go for this job? Greedy. That’s why. Greedy.
Anyway, it got me thinking about my life again. What was I doing while all these people were going around pursuing their advanced degrees and high powered careers? Oh yeah, that’s right. Let’s see. First I worked whatever job paid the most money so my husband and I could afford rent and food while he was in medical school. Then I became a stay-at-home-mom, housewife and queen of the carpool for the better part of twenty years. The slap-in-the-face-harsh-reality is that I am not qualified for the advice guru job. Period. It got me feeling a little sorry for myself. However, after a solid 30 minutes of self-pity and a healthy full-out nose blowing, I decided I wouldn’t trade my life, or the path that got me here for all the tea in China. I have a loving husband (even on my worst days), two sons who are becoming fine young men, and the best dog in the entire universe. The cherry on top is that I am full of potential and still convinced that I am every bit as capable (maybe not as qualified, but definitely as capable) of being Good Morning America’s 21st Century Advice Guru as any one of those 20 finalists. I’m going to find a job. Just wait. I’v got a plan.
Do you want to hear the best part of all of this? Believe it or not, it ended up that due to my googleisciousness and because I applied for the advice guru job, somebody happened upon my blog, found it interesting and got in touch with me. It wasn’t Mr. ABC Television Executive as I had predicted, and no I have not been invited to join the cast of Dancing with the Stars (don’t worry I’m not giving up on that fantasy just yet). This is even better. One of the other 15,000 advice guru applicants found me. Can you believe it? She is a blogger too (kathleenstander.blogspot.com) and as you would imagine since we both were inspired to apply for the same job, it seems we have a lot in common. We are planning to keep in touch which reminds me that if you give things a chance they tend to work out for the best. I have a new friend, and as far as I’m concerned, you can never have too many friends. So I’m not cranky and depressed anymore. I am, however, ever so slightly, yet unabashedly bitter. I never watched Good Morning America before this whole advice guru search took place and you certainly won’t catch me watching it now. So there. Humph. No sir. Not me. I’ll be watching the TODAY SHOW and I expect all of YOU will be doing the same. Thank you, in advance, for your support.
Till tomorrow… Good night. Sleep tight.