It’s Over. It’s Finally Over

It’s over.  It’s finally over and I am cranky.  I knew this day would come.  Good Morning America announced the 20 advice guru finalists and (sniff, sniff) I AM NOT ONE OF THEM.  Wait.  Let me catch my breath.  I am a little embarrassed because for a while there, I actually thought I might have a teeny tiny bit of a chance.  There I said it.  I really put a lot of thought into my application.  Honestly, I tried to strike the perfect balance between humor and serious content in my advice responses and composed, what I thought was, a pretty compelling personal essay.  I even felt confident in the photo I submitted of myself.  No, I was more than confident, I thought I actually looked downright cute and not the least bit awkward in that photo.  In the end (shoulder shrug) I guess I just didn’t cut the mustard.  I can’t help but wonder if Robin Roberts might have had something to do with my not making the cut.  You know she’s turning 50 this year, and she’s probably insecure as it is.  Imagine how threatened she would be if a firecracker like me were added to the GMA roster.  I’m sure Sam and George passing my headshot back and forth between themselves, giving each other the old’ elbow-elbow, nudge-nudge, wink-wink the way guys do, got Robin thinking she wanted me OUT.  I mean it could have happened that way.  Right?  Either way, I suppose, no news really was bad news.  I went to the GMA website to check out the finalists.  All that business about plucking some regular person from an ordinary humdrum life and plopping him/her into the glitz and glamour of advice gurudome was a bunch of MALARKY.  There is not a single person in the final 20 who has not either  or cultivated an advice/counseling related professional career or earned an advanced degree. I’m not talking about a masters degree.  I am talking about highly educated people with PhD’s in one thing or another, as well as several medical doctors.  I’m not talking mom bloggers and spare time writers.  I’m talking a prolific author of something like a dozen advice and self-help books, and get this, a couple of local television advice type personalities.  THESE PEOPLE ARE ALREADY ADVICE GURUS FOR GOODNESS SAKE!  Why go for this job?  Greedy.  That’s why.  Greedy.

Anyway, it got me thinking about my life again.  What was I doing while all these people were going around pursuing their advanced degrees and high powered careers?  Oh yeah, that’s right.  Let’s see.  First I worked whatever job paid the most money so my husband and I could afford rent and food while he was in medical school.  Then I became a stay-at-home-mom, housewife and queen of the carpool for the better part of twenty years.  The slap-in-the-face-harsh-reality is that I am not qualified for the advice guru job.  Period.  It got me feeling a little sorry for myself.  However, after a solid 30 minutes of self-pity and a healthy full-out nose blowing, I decided I wouldn’t trade my life, or the path that got me here for all the tea in China.  I have a loving husband (even on my worst days), two sons who are becoming fine young men, and the best dog in the entire universe.  The cherry on top is that I am full of potential and still convinced that I am every bit as capable (maybe not as qualified, but definitely as capable) of being Good Morning America’s 21st Century Advice Guru as any one of those 20 finalists.  I’m going to find a job.  Just wait.  I’v got a plan.

Do you want to hear the best part of all of this?  Believe it or not, it ended up that due to my googleisciousness and  because I applied for the advice guru job, somebody happened upon my blog, found it interesting and got in touch with me.  It wasn’t Mr. ABC Television Executive as I had predicted, and no I have not been invited  to join the cast of Dancing with the Stars (don’t worry I’m not giving up on that fantasy just yet).  This is even better.  One of the other 15,000 advice guru applicants found me.  Can you believe it?  She is a blogger too (kathleenstander.blogspot.com) and as you would imagine since we both were inspired to apply for the same job, it seems we have a lot in common.  We are planning to keep in touch which reminds me that if you give things a chance they tend to work out for the best.  I have a new friend, and as far as I’m concerned, you can never have too many friends.  So I’m not cranky and depressed anymore.   I am, however, ever so slightly, yet unabashedly bitter.  I never watched Good Morning America before this whole advice guru search took place and you certainly won’t catch me watching it now.  So there. Humph.  No sir.  Not me.  I’ll be watching the TODAY SHOW and I expect all of YOU will be doing the same.  Thank you, in advance, for your support.

Till tomorrow…  Good night.  Sleep tight.

9 thoughts on “It’s Over. It’s Finally Over

  1. I agree with everything you wrote, Antoinette. So much for the Charlie Bucket golden ticket opportunity, huh?
    I was particularly peeved to see Vicky Iovine place as a finalist. I have been reading her freelance stuff for 20 + years in national periodicals. She’s already famous. Already famous, I say!
    But wait … I’ve been mentioned in your blog. And the way I see it, a person can never know enough people.
    Here’s to new friendship!

  2. Obviously with this giant miss on their parts, ABC knows no more about what they’re deciding to do than CBS (see rant below). Press on with your wonderful ideas; they’ve made you who you are (press pun intended)!

    Off your main point, but I’m game to turn back to the TODAY SHOW. Been watching CBS Breakfast Show as sentimental fav (only channel we got up in the log home) ever since Harry Smith came back some years ago. But now they’re replacing Harry, Maggie and Dave, to try again and get out of 3rd place where they’ve been for over 20 years, which they’ll never do, and they’re up-ending an excellent team. Typical CBS blunder.

  3. you know how AI calls back an eliminated contestant late in the season…a wild card if you will…GMA may have something like that up there “not surprising low ratings” sleeve….just saying….

  4. I will have to admit that when you told me that you were applying for the position, my first thought was a very selfish one. What will I do if I won’t be able to see or talk to Antionette as much? Better yet how will her friends and family survive without her because she does so much for so many and makes it look effortless.

    You really did get the job of advice guru or actually kept the position you have so beautifully served in for your friends. I honestly believe with all of my heart that God has you exactly where he wants you to be. The lives you touch through all of your loving efforts to make our days better are grateful for your presence (and thankful that we don’t have to share you with the rest of America!!) I know that I am so blessed that God chose to place you in my life because your friendship is a true gift.

    Thank you for being you!!

  5. Just wanted you to know that I am an unemployed mother of 7 who doesn’t have any degrees and hasn’t written a book. I have been through a ton of tough stuff in my life just like you. This last year my coaching business has dwindled to almost nothing and we are barely making ends meet. I cut coupons and price match at Walmart just to put food on the table every week. In this economy people just don’t have the money to pay a life coach. It’s been my toughest year ever for my family.

    I never dreamed in a million years that I would make it to the top twenty! I almost fainted when GMA called me. This would be a dream come true for me. But I’ve read the essays from the other candidates and they have some impressive resumes. Not sure if I really have a chance… but I do have really good principle based advice, so I’m going to give it my best shot.

    If they plopped me into the glitz and glamour of advice gurudome I’d freak out! I can’t even imagine it. Would you support me? I am a blogger just like you http://www.coachkimsayer.com if you want to read about my last year as a single mom at 42. I’m the girl who got splattered with ranch dressing and got locked in Gold’s gym. It would mean a lot to me, after reading your blog, if you would consider supporting me in this.

    I will need all the help I can get to compete with the famous, successful folks I’m up against.

    Let me know what you think.

    Kimberly

    • Kimberly,
      First of all congratulations on making the top 20 and on your recent nuptials. Life is good, isn’t it? Now, about my blog. I maintain my claim that GMA implied some regular person, who happens to be good at giving advice, might have a chance at getting plucked from an ordinary humdrum life and plopped into the glitz and glamour of advice gurudome. Unfortunately, based on the collective qualifications of the 20 finalists, I am disappointed to realize all of that press about the regular person having a chance was a bunch of MALARKY. Even you, a coupon-cutting mother of seven are more than just some nobody from Utah. By your own admission you have television and radio experience, you are a professional writer, spokesperson, and standup comic (assuming that’s what you meant by “entertained groups on a cruise ship with my humor”) and life coach. My goodness, you may not have written a book, but you are a prolific writer and editor, the author of the Clarity Point Process, and the president and founder of Clarity Point and LDS Life Coaching. What you lack in formal education you clearly make up for in professional experience. No my friend, you are no Jane Doe, you are an established social science professional. You have amassed an impressive set of credentials that, if you ask me, puts you on quite equal footing with the other 19 finalists. By all means be humble, but don’t sell yourself short. I’m not quite sure what you expect to accomplish by winning my support. I mean, it’s not like you’re campaigning for political office, and I’m certainly not sending you a check. So what is it, exactly, that you think you need from me in order to compete against the other “famous and successful” advice guru wannabees?
      If it’s advice you’re after, I’ve got a few suggestions. First of all (and by the way this is what I found most attractive about the job) you are going to be expected to write an online advice column for GMA. If you want to be taken seriously, you’ve got to clean up your writing. Punctuation, capitalization, grammar, and composition errors will knock you out of the running faster than you can say George Stephanopoulos. Consider purchasing and getting familiar with a good grammar and composition reference book (The Associated Press Stylebook, The Random House Handbook, or The Holt Handbook are all good resources). In your personal essay you state you would be the ultimate advice guru on GMA because you are “funny, modern, hip, sexy, clever and entertaining.” Your writing needs to reflect it. With all due respect, Kimberly, I read your answers to the sample advice questions and while your advice was fundamentally sound, your writing was rather luke warm. I understand that being restricted to 150 words or less presented a difficult challenge. Still, from this point forward you need to focus as much on the entertainment value of your writing as you do on the substance. While you’re out shopping for that grammar and composition handbook, pick up a thesaurus! Be creative! Think pizzazz! Remember, you need to capture and hold the attention of the viewers who, at some point, will be voting for their favorite advice guru pick. Aha!
      Yes, I had an epiphany! I just realized what you’re after! When this competition gets down to the nitty gritty, you know, when viewers start casting votes a la American Idol and Dancing with the Stars, you want me to vote for you. Am I right? You probably want me to vote for you and to get all my friends and blog followers to vote for you too, right? Clever. Here’s what I think. Maybe. I’ll tell you, I spent a lot of time today reading your blog and doing some cyber-snooping about you. I can’t help it, but I still think I’d make a better advice guru than you would. Of course, there’s no disputing that the ABC “Powers That Be” do not share my opinion in this matter. If they did, I’d be in your shoes. So, since I can’t vote for myself, I suppose there’s no harm in voting for someone else. I’ll follow your blog and you follow mine. How does that sound? I suspect you will be on air at some point so please drop me an email or leave a comment so I can be sure to catch you (I must confess I don’t usually watch GMA, but I will if you’re on a segment). Definitely let me know when the viewer voting starts so I can tune into the show as well…even if I have to use my DVR. Best of luck and stay in touch. Antoinette

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