By now you’ve seen the video of Justin Bieber urinating in a restaurant mop bucket. As if that wasn’t disrespectful enough, he punctuated the act by cursing and defacing a photo of President Bill Clinton, which hung on a nearby wall. You’ve got to admit the kid deserves a little credit. After all, the 19-year-old managed to correctly identify the former president in spite of being 1) a drunken idiot and 2) a Canadian citizen whose permission to live in this country, by the way, is granted on a Visa issued by the United States of America. Yes. The same United States of America of which Mr. Clinton (on whom Mr. Bieber chose gleefully to drop an f-bomb) is the former Commander in Chief. And did I mention he is a complete idiot? Justin Bieber, that is. Didn’t mean to confuse you.
So, Justin and his merry band of self-proclaimed kings-of-the-world (a.k.a. “F***ing Wild Kidz, yo”) were leaving an unnamed NYC nightclub via the rear kitchen exit when, for no apparent reason, the Biebs felt compelled to make a pit stop at the now-famous mop bucket. Wait. I take that back. Clearly he had good reasons for urinating in that mop bucket. Obviously great reasons like, “that’s the coolest spot to piss,” and, “you know, you’ll forever remember that.” I mean, who doesn’t want to remember all those special times you empty your bladder surrounded by a posse of inebriated besties, right?
Anyway, after relieving himself in the mop bucket, Biebs grabbed a spray-bottle of cleaner, spritzed a framed photo of President Clinton and shouted, “F**k, Bill Clinton!” If you haven’t seen it yet and you’ve got 46 seconds to waste, here it is.
Since all of the shenanigans happened back in February – yeah, like five months ago – you might be wondering why it’s only now catching everyone’s attention. As it turns out, one of the Bieber’s aforementioned besties (a.k.a. F***ing Whiz…Oops! I mean Wild…Kidz, yo) recently leaked the video to TMZ in classic with-freinds-like-that-who-needs-enemies fashion. I’m sure there’s a story there too. Anyway, the video went viral and shortly thereafter a sheepish, if not genuinely contrite, Bieber tweeted:
- “@billclinton thanks for taking the time to talk Mr. President. Your words meant alot. #greatguy.”
While there’s no record that any sort of multi-tweet Twitterverse exchange took place between President Clinton and Justin, USA Today reports confirming that a discussion did indeed occur between the two. Likewise sources close to the pop star disclosed to Extra that prior to tweeting about it, Bieber reached out (by telephone) to apologize to President Clinton and in return, Clinton accepted the apology. Apparently it was a wonderful conversation, full of rainbows and lollypops and all sorts of mutual admiration and Clinton offering advice on surrounding yourself with trustworthy people and how to handle making bad choices and stuff like that. Phew. I was beginning to think Justin Bieber was nothing short of a punk with no hope of redemption. Thank heavens he’s got Bill Clinton stepping up to serve as his moral compass. We all can rest easier now.
Several news services, including E! also reported Clinton said something along the lines of, “If that’s the worst thing you have ever done, all is well.” All is well? ALL IS WELL? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I feel like I’m stuck in an episode of the Twilight Zone and I’m not allowed to slap either one of them until I decide who deserves to be slapped first…Justin or (and I say this with all due respect for the Office of the President) Bill Clinton. I just can’t decide. I JUST CAN’T DECIDE.
While I’m certainly relieved to know the integrity of US – Canada diplomatic relations remains intact thanks to Bieber’s patching things up with the former president #greatguy, one question persistently nags me. Here it is. Why hasn’t Justin Bieber apologized to the real victims? You know, the people responsible for dealing with the disposal of and stench associated with a bucket full of his urine? Perhaps if somebody in Bieber’s camp made the little twerp apologize to every single member of that restaurant janitorial staff; made him learn each and very one of their names along with the names of their spouses and children; perhaps then Justin Bieber might think twice the next time he has a choice to make. Perhaps. Or perhaps it would be simpler and better for all of us just to deport him. We have plenty of native idiots in this country already, we certainly don’t need to be importing any from Canada. Justin Bieber… GO. HOME.