If you’re new to Just Another Ordinary Day, it may come as a surprise to learn the reason I launched this blog was not to bemoan the pitfalls of PPACA and POTUS. My intent was far from political. In fact, my agenda in launching a blog in the first place was to become famous. Don’t get all weird on me… I’m not talking papparazzi-in-your-face famous…just famous enough to get me on Dancing with the Stars. I know. It sounds crazy, but honestly it’s how it all started. And I wrote about it in the very first post I published:
I am addicted to Dancing with the Stars. And for reasons I can’t explain, I really want to be a contestant on this show. I know what you’re thinking, “this woman hasn’t got a chance…she’s not a star, she’s just an ordinary person.” It’s true. I am quite precisely just an ordinary person. I have an ordinary life, which I live each day in an extremely ordinary way. I’ve never walked on the moon, won Olympic gold, or starred in a blockbuster movie. I’ve never headlined the cast of a Broadway play, hosted a talk show, and I am not the daughter, mother, wife (or even ex-wife) of somebody famous. I’m not an aging entertainer, a has been, nor a wannabe. In fact, I simply am an ordinary person. So I will write about my ordinary experiences. I will share my ordinary thoughts, and make ordinary observations. Maybe, just maybe, some ABC executive will happen upon my blog, find it interesting, and think to himself, “Hmmm. Having an ordinary person on the show might be good for ratings.” In which case, this ordinary woman just might be given the very extraordinary chance to dance among the stars.
Fast forward two years and seven months (not that I’m counting) to find, in spite of consistently being recognized at the deli counter by complete strangers (I buy a lot of deli and apparently so do the people who follow my blogs), I still am not famous enough for the producers of DWTS. Then, just when I started thinking there would never be a spray tan or sequined dress in my future, Just Another Ordinary Day was named a Top Mommy Blog and BAM! it happened… just like I hoped it would. Some random casting director discovered me while trolling the internet, liked my particular brand of humor and promptly invited me to join the cast of a reality television show. I promise this really did happen and it was just like I predicted back in 2010, except for one small detail. It wasn’t Dancing with the Stars that came calling. It was Pioneer Families.
You’re probably thinking I’ve never heard of Pioneer Families. I know that’s what I was thinking, which is why I was skeptical at first, but then I checked out the casting director and the production company and guess what. It is completely legit. Pioneer Families is a new show that documents the survival of families plopped in the middle of some undisclosed prairie location far, far away from civilization, electricity, plumbing and any other non-essential conveniences like the stuff that makes personal hygiene easy. If you know me, you know I’m not the poop-in-the-woods type, but believe it or not, I actually considered doing the show because 1) they said I could dance on camera, and 2) I figured this could be my ticket to DWTS. After all, who ever heard the names Kate Gosselin, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino or Nicole “Snookie” Polizzi before Jon and Kate Plus Eight and Jersey Shore? I’ll tell you who. NOBODY!
I shared the news with my husband, Pat and our youngest son, Jared and they thought it was a swell idea for about a nanosecond, which was the point in the conversation at which I sprang the part on them where they would need to come along… to the prairie… with no electricity…or plumbing… or Polo and Ax products. They looked at me like I had three heads. As if the idea of THEM moving to the wilderness for a month was ridiculous. Sure, it’s okay for me, but not them. “I can’t go alone,” I argued, “remember the show is called Pioneer FAMILIES not Pioneer MOM BLOGGERS WHOSE FAMILIES REFUSE TO MAKE TINY LITTLE SACRIFICES SO MOM CAN GET FAMOUS ENOUGH TO BE ON DANCING WITH THE STARS.” Yeah. That’s how it went down.
So that’s my story. Fame came knocking and I turned it away on account of my family. I was pretty upset about it too. You don’t understand. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am… okay, okay maybe that’s a tad dramatic, but seriously. A gig as a pioneer mom could have propelled me from blogosphere to dance floor. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m over it. I’m not resentful and I’m not going to mention that I worked to support my husband through med school or all the times I’ve scrubbed dirty baseball uniforms, filled water jugs, or chauffeured sweaty boys to and from baseball fields up and down the eastern seaboard. And I certainly won’t dwell on the sacrifices I’ve made so the men in my life could chase THEIR dreams. Nope, I’m too long-suffering to mention any of that, but I will say this. I’m not giving up.
Pat and I are now taking ballroom dance lessons. You might think I forced him into it. You might even accuse me of taking advantage of a man who’s feeling a teensy bit guilty for not supporting his wife’s dream, but that’s not the case at all. The truth is Pat’s having as much fun as I am and he knows I’d take him over Derek Hough any day of the week. There’s a spray tan and sequined dress in my future yet. You can bet on it and when Dancing with the Stars comes knocking, I won’t just be ready. I’ll be a contender. You’ll see.