There’s a good chance I might run into Justin Bieber at Publix this weekend because he moved into my neighborhood. Okay, so maybe not exactly my neighborhood, but definitely my neck of the woods. He signed a three-month lease on Dallas Austin’s iconic mansion and quietly moved in last week because, you know, he doesn’t want to draw attention to himself or anything while he’s house hunting in Buckhead. Because living in a place that looks more like the Star Ship Enterprise than an actual house isn’t conspicuous or anything.
Evidently the Biebs has decided it’s time to make the leap from teeny bopper to hip-hopper and since there’s no better place in which to do it than the hip-hop-hot-bed of the universe, he’s moved back. Yes, moved back – he lived in Atlanta briefly years ago when he first moved to the United States. For the record, when I wrote Justin Bieber. Go Home. a few months ago, I meant Canada. Moral of the story: Be careful what you ask for.
Anyway, I’m typically not the type who gets all googly and star-struck around pop stars, but for some obscene reason, I felt compelled to drive by the place on my way to the grocery store the other day. Now, I don’t know much about record producer, Dallas Austin (other than, and I’m guessing here, he’s from Texas) but I can tell you this. I drove by this house everyday for more than a decade during my carpooling days and never once did I see so much as a tourist with a disposable camera in the vicinity when Dallas Austin lived there.
Since the Biebs moved in, there have been helicopters flying overhead and a posse of “paps” hanging around the front gate, ostensibly waiting for a glimpse of Mr. Bieber. (By the way, in case you’re wondering “paps” is short for paparazzi – those of us who mingle at Publix with the…ahem…celebs abbreviate it that way.)
Rumor has it, “J. Bizzle” is shopping for a home in the Sandy Springs-Buckhead area, which means there really is a decent chance I’ll bump into him at Publix one of these days. Since I’m not the type who gets all googly and star-struck around pop stars, I won’t be asking for an autograph and certainly I won’t be asking him to pose for a selfie with me at the deli counter. No sirree. But if I run into Justin Bieber you can bet I’ll tell him to put on a shirt, pull up his pants, turn his cap around and to behave like a decent human being. Cuz in Atlanta, dat’s how we roll.
And then I’ll say, “Welcome to the neighborhood.”
© 2014 Just Another Ordinary Day by Antoinette Datoc